Sanzou is crouched on the bed, face in the mattress, fingers grasping the sheeting and ass in the air. Gojou is fucking his butt. No matter how hard Gojou tries not to hurt him- and he does try, even when he's pissed at Sanzou- Gojou hurts him. And that's exactly how Sanzou likes it.
Hakkai wakes in the night. He knows Sanzou is awake and knows that Sanzou wants him. He goes to Sanzou's bed, pulls off his shorts, gets into position on the bed. Sanzou takes him, deliberately and in utter silence. Hakkai lies with his face turned against the sheet and his mind empty. Ever since Sanzou gained his life for him from the gods, Hakkai has let Sanzou do this. Neither of them ever says anything, not during and not after. In the three years this has been going on they've never once spoken of it between them. Hakkai simply doesn't think about it, even while it's happening, and so in an odd way it has never happened at all.
Hakkai is crouched on the bed, face in the mattress, fingers grasping the sheeting and ass in the air. Sanzou is fucking his butt with extreme satisfaction. Clever Hakkai with his quiet little remarks, poisonous Hakkai who makes fun of them all in such an innocent and deadly way, dangerous Hakkai who sees far too much and guesses the rest-- that daytime Hakkai is reduced to this: thin hips, two flat buttocks, a hot tight hole that feels so good to thrust in and out of, and a strangled gasping voice, smothered by the bedding, that makes a noise like far-off weeping. Clever Hakkai's clever ass getting exactly what he's been asking for and it deserves.
Gojou is bent over the end of the bed, grabbing the sheet in both hands. Gojou doesn't know why Hakkai has to do this to him sometimes, only that Hakkai does. He hates doing it, and he hates the way Hakkai looks at him when Hakkai wants to do it, close-faced and unmovable. Gojou doesn't want to remember that his pal Hakkai can also be someone Gojou doesn't even know. But he does it because this other Hakkai, the unsmiling dark-eyed one, is still Hakkai, and he's not going to pick and choose- 'it's OK when you're this way but I don't know you when you're that way.' He's the friend of all the Hakkais there are, and maybe someday the everyday Hakkai will be able to tell him why he has to be the other one from time to time.
Gojou is bent over the end of the bed, grabbing the sheet in both hands. Hakkai doesn't know why Gojou needs him to do this to him, only that Gojou does. Needs it badly enough to actually come out and ask for it. Faced with desperation like that Hakkai can only do what Gojou wants, and hope that someday whatever is tormenting Gojou into wanting it will be over. It has to do with their journey, because they never did this at home, so maybe when the journey's done Gojou will be alright again. Hakkai wants to be gentle but Gojou wants him to be rough. Hakkai can only manage it at all by an act of will and three years' worth of being close to Gojou- something between pity and friendship, and a little understanding of what demons within will do to a man.
Gojou is bent over the end of the bed, grabbing the sheet in both hands. His eyes are screwed tight and he's away somewhere in his head, thinking only of the hard thickness plugging him up that makes his ass ache with its size. That guy is making him bend over the bed, that guy is holding Gojou's hips with his big hands, that guy has his cock in Gojou's ass and is pounding at him with it. Something turned over in Gojou's mind in the moment he saw the big half-naked youkai standing beside Kougaiji. Gojou'd thought he was looking for Jien, and this man wasn't Jien, but he knew then that this man was the one he'd been looking for all along. Gojou doesn't understand it at all. Gojou doesn't know why he wants a guy, and why he wants a guy to screw him, or why he wants this guy to screw him. He only knows that he does and that he can't have it. The idea won't leave him and the need won't leave him and he can't get rid of it with women so all he can do is this. And count himself lucky that he has Hakkai who'll do it for him, and not ask questions, and be silent so that Gojou in his mind can change him into that guy, hurting him and loving him and making it clear that everything's OK now and he's never going anywhere again.
Sanzou is bent over the end of the bed, grabbing the sheet in both hands. Gojou is riding his ass, hard and wild. However pissy Sanzou is to him during the day, however much Gojou sometimes wants to sock him, at night they have this unspoken ceasefire. Sanzou bends, Gojou screws him, they both slough off their irritation like washing the day's dust away in the shower. When he's inside Sanzou Gojou feels like he almost loves the guy, for having such a hot tight butt and for letting Gojou inside it. As long as Gojou's inside him Sanzou feels almost friendly to him, for having such a talented cock and for not holding grudges about using it. Afterwards they have a cigarette together, split a beer, and share the momentary good feeling. Then the other slopes off to his own room, before the mood can spoil and they start sniping at each other again.
Gokuu is bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet, bent over the mattress with Sanzou's hand firmly planted in the middle of his back to keep him there. Sanzou's that is going in and out of his asshole. Gokuu is biting the sheet trying not to yell. He doesn't know why Sanzou has to do this to him. He hates it and it hurts him and Sanzou's been doing it for years and doesn't care that he hates it and it hurts him. Sanzou says 'Shou ga nai' when Gokuu tells him that, like it's something inevitable that everyone has to do and too bad if it hurts. Gokuu is beginning to think that maybe it is inevitable, like stomach cramps when you eat green apples. Feels a lot like that as well. Sanzou says he'll stop when Gokuu starts to shave. Gokuu hates it and it hurts him but somehow the idea of Sanzou not doing it any more doesn't make him feel happy until he's actually back over the bed and doing it again, and then it can't stop too soon.
Kougaiji is lying on his back on the edge of the bed with his legs laid over Doku's shoulders. Doku kneels on the floor with his mouth working at Kou's groin. Kou's hands hold Doku's hands, Doku's hands hold Kou's hands, palm to palm and fingers interlaced. Kou pushes against Doku's hands as he arches and moans from what Doku's tongue is doing to him. He loves this. Doku always used to press him for intercourse as though he couldn't help himself, as though he had to keep asking for it. Kou let him do it, from friendship and the need for closeness, but unhappy always because it hurt so much. Finally Doku stopped asking and began doing this instead. Kou doesn't say it, and tries not even to let it show, but he likes this much much better than what Doku used to do.
Gokuu is bent over the end of the bed and Sanzou is fucking his butt. Gokuu bounces up and down, yelling and saying 'Ow Sanzou ow ow ow Sanzou!' a lot. Afterwards he looks at Sanzou from wet reproachful eyes and whines about how much he hates it and how much it hurts him. It's as if he doesn't know that that's what happens to boys' butts until they learn to say No and make it stick. Sanzou could do that when he was eight, and he wonders sometimes what's wrong with Gokuu that he still can't do it at eighteen.
Dokugakuji kneels by Kou's bed, mouth working about Kou's cock. His mind is confused and unhappy the way it's been for several months now. He doesn't want to think the things he's thinking and refuses to let them get clear in his mind. But ever since he saw that tall redhead standing next to Sanzou, he's been aware of a crawling guilt- towards Kou, towards that guy, towards the universe generally. Sure, Kou always reminded him a bit of his kid brother, but dimly, sweetly, as if Heaven was giving him back a little taste of what he'd lost. It had nothing to do with what they did in bed, because that was all Kougaiji, the prince he serves and loves and wants to make happy. But now Doku's seen that his kid brother isn't a kid any more, that he's turned into a man, suddenly it's impossible for him to do that to Kou. The red-haired youkai with his brave front to the world and the little sadness in back of his eyes that he won't ever speak aloud- it's too close. Kou and Gojou have become too close together in Doku's mind. And he still wants to screw Kou, he thinks he still wants to screw Kou, but he's afraid that he really wants to screw that other guy. His brother, only he doesn’t feel like his brother. Who wouldn't ever let him anyway. But he can't stop thinking about him, with the long red hair blowing about him and the bright red eyes grinning at him and the jaunty stance as he faced Doku, as if this is all Doku's ever wanted in this world.
Sanzou is working at Gokuu's butt, carefully in and carefully out, listening to Gokuu's yells of pleasure with growing irritation. Tell the whole inn, why don't you? This is about the only thing he does that's even remotely monk-like, and frankly he doesn't care for it any more than the rest of the monk routine. What's so great about having your cock inside a kid's pimply butt, in among the shit and whatever else? Sanzou sighs and keeps on working, waiting for Gokuu to come and fall asleep right after. Then he can go find Gojou and get his own rocks off the way he likes it. Let someone else do the dirty work while I close my eyes and think of Tougenkyou.
Gojou sits smoking and pretending to read a sports paper. On the other side of the room Sanzou sits smoking and really reading a newspaper. Gojou is feeling the age-old sense of anger and ill-usage. No guy ought to be that pretty. Someone that pretty shouldn't be a guy. If Sanzou was a woman, with that same 'don't touch me scum' look, the same 'I'm not interested' cold shoulder, Gojou'd know exactly what to do. Smile into her eyes, deep and slow, get close enough to let her feel his body heat, let her see the muscles of his chest, his arms, his clever mouth and the lips that know exactly what they're doing; put a finger on her cheek- long fingers, clever but gentle, they can take you places- make her start thinking maybe she *is* interested and maybe *she* wants *him*. Yeah, if Sanzou was a woman it'd work. Hell, if Sanzou was any kind of monk it'd work. But Sanzou is Sanzou and nothing works. Gojou snarls silently and lights another cigarette.
Kougaiji lies flat on his bed, face among the cushions. Doku's long straight cock deep inside him pins him to the mattress. Doku's size and heaviness covers his back, the cushions hold and embrace him in front. Kougaiji is sealed up in warmth and loyalty and love the way his father is sealed in cold ungiving rock, and he thinks he could happily stay this way for five times five hundred years.
Sanzou is on his face while Hakkai works carefully at his ass. A relief, to be able to leave everything to someone else and know it'll be done right. As Sanzou lets daytime Hakkai get them to where they're going without telling him how to do it, so he lets Hakkai get him to where he wants to be at night in the same blissful silence. Of course he knows what face Hakkai wears under the human one and the things Hakkai is capable of under the cheerful mother hen routine. And so? The inner wall of a house is no more real than the outer one; and the Hakkai who comes unbidden to Sanzou's bed when he knows he's wanted, also knows what he's doing, knows how to do it, and will do it without making Sanzou pay in any way except the knowledge that this is how mother hen Hakkai takes care of Sanzou.
Dokugakuji kneels by Kou's bed, forehead to the mattress and talons sinking into the silken sheets. This is the other side of what's between him and Kou. He loves Kou, he protects Kou, he's proud of Kou. He pats Kou on the head like Kou was his little brother and feels a solid satisfaction in watching Kou be the prince of his tribe. But when Kou says 'Down' he kneels, and drops his drawers, and sticks his ass out for Kou to fuck. Because Kougaiji is still, somewhere inside him, the son of Gyuuma-Oh, and this is part of his birthright. Kou is grateful for Doku's loyalty and service and friendship, most unprincely grateful. But he allows himself this one reward in return for all the liberties he allows Doku to take, to use Doku's body as he pleases and as of right.
Sanzou is smoking in the armchair, sullen and resentful. His eyes keep going back to Gojou, sitting at the table across the room, turned away from him. At Gojou's solid butt in the brown trousers, planted on the chair. He's seen Gojou in the bath, seen the swelling mounds on the narrow hips, much fuller than they look when he's dressed. He wants his hands on that soft butt so bad it's driving him crazy. He wants to squeeze it and bite it and be cock-deep in it, and he can't. The one guy in the group that he can't exercise any leverage on, authority or guilt or favours due. The grinning skirt-chasing moron. If Gojou ever even thought about doing it with a guy, he'd probably see himself screwing Sanzou's butt. Which will happen about the time pigs fly. Sanzou snarls silently and lights another cigarette.
Oct-Dec '02- May 06